Constructive conversations and feedback
How many people actually enjoy having difficult conversations at work? We can’t think of too many, which is why we’re here to help you through it. Why? Because if you can’t find the courage to approach difficult conversations and work through issues (at work or anywhere), inevitably there’ll be consequences for you as an individual, for your employees, and for your organisation.
Difficult vs constructive conversations
Being a people manager is an incredibly rewarding role—but like any great job, it comes with its challenges. Part of that is having difficult conversations with employees. The term ‘Difficult conversations’ can refer to a lot of things, and a difficult conversation might look like:
topics you don’t want to talk about
situations where you’re not sure what to say
conflicting opinions
circumstances where the outcome is uncertain
discussions which make you feel uncomfortable
When we avoid difficult conversations, the issues that we want to discuss can often magnify, build anger, and cause all sorts of other negative consequences to the business, the employee, and even you as a manager. The following impacts may occur as a result of avoiding difficult conversations:
resentment and mistrust
productivity issues
low staff morale and lack of engagement
work environment issues
client/customer relationships affected
To avoid the above impacts, let’s reframe ‘difficult conversations’ and focus on having ‘constructive conversations’. A constructive conversation is useful and helpful, rather than negative and unhelpful. A key component of constructive conversations is curiosity, being curious about the other person’s perspective and asking them questions to understand their viewpoint. You may not always agree with someone’s perspective, and asking them questions will help you discover what’s important for them. Once you do, you’ll be able to establish a common ground and move to a resolution more easily.
Constructive conversations require skills such as acknowledging the other person’s perspective, exercising compassion, active listening, providing help and support, finding mutual ground, and reflecting and learning. It’s clear that these skills require a level of emotional intelligence that all leaders (and everyone in the workplace really) should be practising. Remember that you’re on the same team, it’s not a battle. Ideally a constructive conversation will help you learn from each other and grow individually and as a team. Let’s expand on constructive conversations and consider how we give and receive feedback.
Providing feedback
When we think of feedback in the workplace, we might conjure up images of avoidant managers giving employees feedback twice a year in performance reviews, and it’s fair to say that this probably isn’t the most effective approach or produces tangible results. Nevertheless, feedback is important because it keeps the team on track for achieving goals; it creates better relationships; encourages personal and professional development; and builds morale and engagement.
It’s important to remember that feedback doesn’t have to be a formal twice yearly event. It can be a quick conversation or a comment to an employee to let them know they did well, or that you appreciate their efforts. Or if you need to advise an employee about something specific, inform them privately, and ask for their input as to how they could improve for next time. A few tips to remember for achieving constructive feedback include:
Frame the conversation – start from a place of wanting to help the other person improve.
Be specific, give examples.
Don’t judge or blame.
Encourage their feedback.
Listen and engage them in the resolution of the issue.
The organisation also has a responsibility to create a workplace culture where everyone feels safe enough to have constructive conversations and give and receive feedback. How can they achieve this? By creating a psychologically safe workplace.
The importance of Psychological Safety at work
Psychological safety is ‘a belief that one will not be punished or humiliated for speaking up with ideas, questions, concerns, or mistakes.’[1] How can leaders create a psychologically safe workplace? Here are a few tips:
When you have meetings, consider assigning someone else to chair the meeting – redistribute the power.
Create an atmosphere of warmth and informality – encourages collaboration
Model acts of vulnerability – this gives permission for others to do so.
Stimulate inquiry before advocacy – ask questions first, don’t jump to stating your position too soon.
Reward challenges to the status quo – if you encourage it, your team can help identify gaps and room for improvement, helping the organisation grow.
Use humour and enthusiasm, and encourage debate.
Buffer strong personalities.
Listen and pause.
Give targeted praise and recognition[2].
Creating a psychologically safe workplace will enhance your managers and employees confidence and capabilities in approaching conversations. Fostering a psychologically safe workplace makes difficult conversations feel less difficult and therefore more constructive.
Remember, constructive conversations are a communication skill that, with practice you can master over time, and combined with a psychologically safe workplace, will have huge benefits for your staff members and ultimately the organisation.
If you’d like more help with managing difficult conversations, contact CER on 9189 5999 or enquiry@cer.catholic.org.au and we’d be happy to assist you.